Tree Blind (work in progress)

Sheperd

Making assumptions on what has been done by hearing it from second hand accounts. Missing the blessing for yourself, because you think it is better served from another mouth and not the Lords.
Know him for yourself, not through other people’s accounts, because you are just getting a story now, and not a blessing. You are watching the sick get healed, and remaining stagnate hoping for the same results. Faith comes from hearing, blessings come from work, not from osmosis. You can’t lay the bible under your pillow, out your head on the pillow and hope that what’s in it will filter up through the “barrier” you put up. Trying to get it your way, instead of his.
You want to know him, you want to receive God into your life. Open your Bible and seek him, get to know him, let him lead you, and you will get there. You will receive.
Faith is the evidence of things unseen, but you can’t have faith without trust. You can’t hear God if you don’t open your heart, and you can’t change your favor by doing the same thing that got you out of favor.
I didn’t get to know God by continuing to seek the approval of the world, I didn’t fix the strife in my life by standing in the same spot. Th Lord said move, and I finally did, he said come and I entered into his grace.
Look at what Mary did in faith, she trusted that her sorrow would become joy, her emptiness would be filled by trust, and she didn’t take it and try to hide like many of us do. She didn’t hold her miracle only to herself but she shared it with the world.
Why aren’t you taking your blessings, and sharing them with the lost, letting your Faith lead others out of the wilderness. Because in fellowship, their is strength. In fellowship their is growth, but in solitude, in the world, is loneliness, their is weakness and the devil will fool you and make you think you are stuck. But you are never stuck, because he never leaves you. God never abandons you, even when you walk away, he follows, he waits, he loves, he Grace’s you with favor, with mercy and continues to speak to your heart, letting you know, when you are ready, when you are done falling in the dark, he will turn on your light. He will guide you out, and into the promise Land.

This little light of my mine

When you hear that song you have to realize what that means. I think of it like this, we are full of the holy spirit, like in conception and birth God filled us with the his holy spirit, like Holy oil, our heart is the wick. So we are born and we are already filled to the brim with his holy oil. We live and we are brought to church, hopefully, our parents, our loved ones expose us to the joy of God’s love and we go along. I mean it’s what they do so it’s what we do, until we reach a point of questioning, a time when we begin to talk with God but unknowingly. He’s calling us, he’s letting us know, letting you know that he’s with you. Always has been and is just waiting for you to make a choice to let him shine, let him shine let him shine. In everything and everywhere you go, let him shine. Yet, he can’t shine until you let the holy spirit come alive, let it light within you. So you argue with God a little, we all have. Why, how, if you are here why am I going through the traumas, the hazards of life that seem so unfair. We argue, pushing blame on him and not taking responsibility Here is the key, not taking blame for our choices. Because at every turn Jesus has laid out two paths, a path of righteousness, and a path of the world. And many times, the path of the world appears…key word, appears easier. Like it comes with less judgement, less persocution and offers a faster more direct path to what We want. The funny thing, since we are always searching for him, always seeking him, and until we make the choice to let him light us, until we make a choice to let him shine within us, we will always be shadows chasing the night. But God will get you, he always does. You either hit rock bottom, or you just make a decision to take a leap of faith and just let him in. And once we do, he lights that joy, he takes away the fear, he pushes the dark out and fills us with his light. And we let it shine, we let shine let it shine. Now I am not a perfect Christian, I don’t know one, and every day I struggle, I fight against the flesh, and the darkness, the ways of the world, satan, tries to sneak back in. Looking for a weakness, a moment of doubt to captialize on and some days that darkness gets in farther then I care to admit, always farther then I want, but with Faith, with constant prayer, just simply talking to God every day, I never go back to where I was. I never find myself lost in the darkness because he is shining in me. If God is for me, than who or what can stand against me. If I chose to make the same promise to God that he makes to me, I never lose my way. It’s my choice, my choice to let him shine in everything I do, and why would I turn that light off, why would I walk in any other direction and go back to that despair, that sadness and unfulfilling life that he brought me out of? So when I hear that song, this little light of mine, I think of what it means in me, what God has done for me, and I am excited for what he has in store for me. So I let it shine, I ask God every day to shine in me, through me, to let others find their way out of the darkness by following his light. And if you feel like your light is dimming, like the darkness is creeping in; ask him to rekindle, to brighten within you.

Giving

I’m stained with secrets
slowly burning with heat of sunrise
My heart lives there
between the echoed footsteps of goodbyes
My lips spill time uncontrollably
my tongue is chasing seconds
That pass memories in the dark
I’m filled with Faith
Raging with the joy of Resurrection
my soul lives here
Inside the tears of trials and triumphs
My voice carries a message that is everlasting
It is unconditional, it is love
-J

Past

Burnt embers sizzle out in the morning mist, leaving that stale, fresh sent of the end wafting through the air.

Through closed eyelids I REM through vivid emotions of what once was. 

Subconsciously that arm draped over my sides is holding it all together.  Distant fights, silent mornings of “I need you” that never got completed because prideful lips fastened shut in fear. 

Empty chairs holding sheltered laughter, harsh goodbyes and passion lost to the burning embers of this torn heart. 

As a Dad

As a Dad I am looking to become a better man daily.  I look into my children’s eyes and see that they believe in me beyond what I can fathom.  They see the untapped potential that as an adult, I “logically” rule out. Yet, when I take the time to stop and just listen, and see what they see; I can do anything. 

Something I get lost, they always help me find my way home. 

Work

I am looking for help in my writing, will you please leave suggestions, words, whatever you feel on my page and I will write poems to correlate to them. 

Thank you

after they are posted, comments and feedback are requested.  Good or bad. 

Believe

I believe that we can over come our past, our transgressions and our hurt.  We can be better then we once were.  No longer shackled to our mistakes but changed by them. 

If it is possible to begin again there has to be trust and to trust we must learn to forgive; not forget.  If we never forgive, then someone  will always pay for the sins of others. 

I believe in you still, even though you have fallen were I once lay.  If I can get up so can you, in fact if you allow; I will help you.

Reason

It escapes me as the days pass how much the past is not always a lesson learned, but a scar that is hated.  Like the scarlet letter.   I m looking for absolution in the night sky, I am finding frailty in the strength if my hope because I am harboring scars that entrap me in fear. 

So much of me is yearning for the love that I have for her, for our  marriage, for our family.  So much of me is running away blind.  I can not go back to someone who has wished me dead, asked me to kill myself so that they do not have to see me. The same person that moments later is crawling over me, tempting me with false looks of love, caressing my sides, my heart with the promise of completion.

Some days I am strong, some days I am beaten.  Crying…I am never defeated, I have learned that through faith I am able to push on. 

I am battled, scared and tired…

I am never out of Love…
JDJ

Disrespect

So how can you insult me all day then kiss me.  How can you call into question me as a father, me as a Christian, and then ask me for help so you can go on a date.   I understand divorce is about changing, coming together, working as one to better life for eachother and the kids.  How do we when you live within the moment, what feels good for the minute is not what’s good for the long haul.   I have nothing to say when you tell me i am unwelcome, and then you want to put your lips on me in lust.  I am speechless.