Sheperd

Making assumptions on what has been done by hearing it from second hand accounts. Missing the blessing for yourself, because you think it is better served from another mouth and not the Lords.
Know him for yourself, not through other people’s accounts, because you are just getting a story now, and not a blessing. You are watching the sick get healed, and remaining stagnate hoping for the same results. Faith comes from hearing, blessings come from work, not from osmosis. You can’t lay the bible under your pillow, out your head on the pillow and hope that what’s in it will filter up through the “barrier” you put up. Trying to get it your way, instead of his.
You want to know him, you want to receive God into your life. Open your Bible and seek him, get to know him, let him lead you, and you will get there. You will receive.
Faith is the evidence of things unseen, but you can’t have faith without trust. You can’t hear God if you don’t open your heart, and you can’t change your favor by doing the same thing that got you out of favor.
I didn’t get to know God by continuing to seek the approval of the world, I didn’t fix the strife in my life by standing in the same spot. Th Lord said move, and I finally did, he said come and I entered into his grace.
Look at what Mary did in faith, she trusted that her sorrow would become joy, her emptiness would be filled by trust, and she didn’t take it and try to hide like many of us do. She didn’t hold her miracle only to herself but she shared it with the world.
Why aren’t you taking your blessings, and sharing them with the lost, letting your Faith lead others out of the wilderness. Because in fellowship, their is strength. In fellowship their is growth, but in solitude, in the world, is loneliness, their is weakness and the devil will fool you and make you think you are stuck. But you are never stuck, because he never leaves you. God never abandons you, even when you walk away, he follows, he waits, he loves, he Grace’s you with favor, with mercy and continues to speak to your heart, letting you know, when you are ready, when you are done falling in the dark, he will turn on your light. He will guide you out, and into the promise Land.

This little light of my mine

When you hear that song you have to realize what that means. I think of it like this, we are full of the holy spirit, like in conception and birth God filled us with the his holy spirit, like Holy oil, our heart is the wick. So we are born and we are already filled to the brim with his holy oil. We live and we are brought to church, hopefully, our parents, our loved ones expose us to the joy of God’s love and we go along. I mean it’s what they do so it’s what we do, until we reach a point of questioning, a time when we begin to talk with God but unknowingly. He’s calling us, he’s letting us know, letting you know that he’s with you. Always has been and is just waiting for you to make a choice to let him shine, let him shine let him shine. In everything and everywhere you go, let him shine. Yet, he can’t shine until you let the holy spirit come alive, let it light within you. So you argue with God a little, we all have. Why, how, if you are here why am I going through the traumas, the hazards of life that seem so unfair. We argue, pushing blame on him and not taking responsibility Here is the key, not taking blame for our choices. Because at every turn Jesus has laid out two paths, a path of righteousness, and a path of the world. And many times, the path of the world appears…key word, appears easier. Like it comes with less judgement, less persocution and offers a faster more direct path to what We want. The funny thing, since we are always searching for him, always seeking him, and until we make the choice to let him light us, until we make a choice to let him shine within us, we will always be shadows chasing the night. But God will get you, he always does. You either hit rock bottom, or you just make a decision to take a leap of faith and just let him in. And once we do, he lights that joy, he takes away the fear, he pushes the dark out and fills us with his light. And we let it shine, we let shine let it shine. Now I am not a perfect Christian, I don’t know one, and every day I struggle, I fight against the flesh, and the darkness, the ways of the world, satan, tries to sneak back in. Looking for a weakness, a moment of doubt to captialize on and some days that darkness gets in farther then I care to admit, always farther then I want, but with Faith, with constant prayer, just simply talking to God every day, I never go back to where I was. I never find myself lost in the darkness because he is shining in me. If God is for me, than who or what can stand against me. If I chose to make the same promise to God that he makes to me, I never lose my way. It’s my choice, my choice to let him shine in everything I do, and why would I turn that light off, why would I walk in any other direction and go back to that despair, that sadness and unfulfilling life that he brought me out of? So when I hear that song, this little light of mine, I think of what it means in me, what God has done for me, and I am excited for what he has in store for me. So I let it shine, I ask God every day to shine in me, through me, to let others find their way out of the darkness by following his light. And if you feel like your light is dimming, like the darkness is creeping in; ask him to rekindle, to brighten within you.

Giving

I’m stained with secrets
slowly burning with heat of sunrise
My heart lives there
between the echoed footsteps of goodbyes
My lips spill time uncontrollably
my tongue is chasing seconds
That pass memories in the dark
I’m filled with Faith
Raging with the joy of Resurrection
my soul lives here
Inside the tears of trials and triumphs
My voice carries a message that is everlasting
It is unconditional, it is love
-J

From my youth

For  Black History Month I thought I would share something I wrote as a teen, that entails my experiences…
We

So is this really my culture to bear,

just because I am the only black man in the room – does not

make me a shadow.

My voice sounds like a whip

my walk is an echo of every march to unify our Nation

my tears are rivers that lead from captivity to equality 

and when you see me – 

I am still just a wish never dreamed of

a thunderstorm you long to drive through

yet safety is found under black roof tops that shelter you from

the truth.

So I stand in every room 

Bold

Cracking my whip across misled perceptions

because being black is not a conception to be used to be 

less than

it means the scars that have been covered by progress

are not to be forgotten

the sting of once open wounds has not dissipated

only numbed

Within our hearts we relieve the triumph of everyone who

spoke and died for us

So this whip I swing back and pray you feel it snap across your conscious.  That being alive, is being human

that is what we are all struggling to be, 

Human

jdj

Dads matter

As time passes after my divorce I find myself more and more financially hurt.  I keep trying to figure why and then I sit down and write it all out. 

I am not a dead beat Dad, I show up to everything, whether it is my scheduled time or not.  I pay my child support, I pay activity fees and help with groceries and about 70% of my income goes to help mom pay for things with our babies.  That does not nor will it ever bother me, I Love my broken family (because divorce breaks a little of all us inside).  I want the best for my kids, even my ex-wife. 

What kills me is she wants more, she chooses to not work in the summer time.  She chooses to not sit down and budget with me for upcoming activities and expenses.  I just get a bill that keeps going and less and less information of where and when things are happening. 

Less and less.

I thought our job as parents (together or apart) was to do the best for our kids, for each other.  Imagine what we could do working together, just communicating.  The view changes with a simple conversation. 

This is scattered I know, just random free falling thoughts of a Dad….looking for ways to ask a Mom….to be better than our past by working together.

We all have bad moments in our life, but if you choose to remain in the position; you will never grow.  If you never grow, they never grow. 

Sigh, it just frazzles my mind on how to make things work, how to change things…how do we become better when we don’t exist.

Sincerely,

Dad moving forward

Past

Burnt embers sizzle out in the morning mist, leaving that stale, fresh sent of the end wafting through the air.

Through closed eyelids I REM through vivid emotions of what once was. 

Subconsciously that arm draped over my sides is holding it all together.  Distant fights, silent mornings of “I need you” that never got completed because prideful lips fastened shut in fear. 

Empty chairs holding sheltered laughter, harsh goodbyes and passion lost to the burning embers of this torn heart. 

Work

I am looking for help in my writing, will you please leave suggestions, words, whatever you feel on my page and I will write poems to correlate to them. 

Thank you

after they are posted, comments and feedback are requested.  Good or bad. 

Devastated

So I got news the other night.  Life shattering, bring me down to my knees in church news. 

Through text…..

She was pregnant. She miscarried. She choose to withhold that she was, that we lost…

Life, a miracle….

How to cope without anger…