This little light of my mine

When you hear that song you have to realize what that means. I think of it like this, we are full of the holy spirit, like in conception and birth God filled us with the his holy spirit, like Holy oil, our heart is the wick. So we are born and we are already filled to the brim with his holy oil. We live and we are brought to church, hopefully, our parents, our loved ones expose us to the joy of God’s love and we go along. I mean it’s what they do so it’s what we do, until we reach a point of questioning, a time when we begin to talk with God but unknowingly. He’s calling us, he’s letting us know, letting you know that he’s with you. Always has been and is just waiting for you to make a choice to let him shine, let him shine let him shine. In everything and everywhere you go, let him shine. Yet, he can’t shine until you let the holy spirit come alive, let it light within you. So you argue with God a little, we all have. Why, how, if you are here why am I going through the traumas, the hazards of life that seem so unfair. We argue, pushing blame on him and not taking responsibility Here is the key, not taking blame for our choices. Because at every turn Jesus has laid out two paths, a path of righteousness, and a path of the world. And many times, the path of the world appears…key word, appears easier. Like it comes with less judgement, less persocution and offers a faster more direct path to what We want. The funny thing, since we are always searching for him, always seeking him, and until we make the choice to let him light us, until we make a choice to let him shine within us, we will always be shadows chasing the night. But God will get you, he always does. You either hit rock bottom, or you just make a decision to take a leap of faith and just let him in. And once we do, he lights that joy, he takes away the fear, he pushes the dark out and fills us with his light. And we let it shine, we let shine let it shine. Now I am not a perfect Christian, I don’t know one, and every day I struggle, I fight against the flesh, and the darkness, the ways of the world, satan, tries to sneak back in. Looking for a weakness, a moment of doubt to captialize on and some days that darkness gets in farther then I care to admit, always farther then I want, but with Faith, with constant prayer, just simply talking to God every day, I never go back to where I was. I never find myself lost in the darkness because he is shining in me. If God is for me, than who or what can stand against me. If I chose to make the same promise to God that he makes to me, I never lose my way. It’s my choice, my choice to let him shine in everything I do, and why would I turn that light off, why would I walk in any other direction and go back to that despair, that sadness and unfulfilling life that he brought me out of? So when I hear that song, this little light of mine, I think of what it means in me, what God has done for me, and I am excited for what he has in store for me. So I let it shine, I ask God every day to shine in me, through me, to let others find their way out of the darkness by following his light. And if you feel like your light is dimming, like the darkness is creeping in; ask him to rekindle, to brighten within you.

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Giving

I’m stained with secrets
slowly burning with heat of sunrise
My heart lives there
between the echoed footsteps of goodbyes
My lips spill time uncontrollably
my tongue is chasing seconds
That pass memories in the dark
I’m filled with Faith
Raging with the joy of Resurrection
my soul lives here
Inside the tears of trials and triumphs
My voice carries a message that is everlasting
It is unconditional, it is love
-J

From my youth

For  Black History Month I thought I would share something I wrote as a teen, that entails my experiences…
We

So is this really my culture to bear,

just because I am the only black man in the room – does not

make me a shadow.

My voice sounds like a whip

my walk is an echo of every march to unify our Nation

my tears are rivers that lead from captivity to equality 

and when you see me – 

I am still just a wish never dreamed of

a thunderstorm you long to drive through

yet safety is found under black roof tops that shelter you from

the truth.

So I stand in every room 

Bold

Cracking my whip across misled perceptions

because being black is not a conception to be used to be 

less than

it means the scars that have been covered by progress

are not to be forgotten

the sting of once open wounds has not dissipated

only numbed

Within our hearts we relieve the triumph of everyone who

spoke and died for us

So this whip I swing back and pray you feel it snap across your conscious.  That being alive, is being human

that is what we are all struggling to be, 

Human

jdj

Work

I am looking for help in my writing, will you please leave suggestions, words, whatever you feel on my page and I will write poems to correlate to them. 

Thank you

after they are posted, comments and feedback are requested.  Good or bad. 

Believe

I believe that we can over come our past, our transgressions and our hurt.  We can be better then we once were.  No longer shackled to our mistakes but changed by them. 

If it is possible to begin again there has to be trust and to trust we must learn to forgive; not forget.  If we never forgive, then someone  will always pay for the sins of others. 

I believe in you still, even though you have fallen were I once lay.  If I can get up so can you, in fact if you allow; I will help you.

Reason

It escapes me as the days pass how much the past is not always a lesson learned, but a scar that is hated.  Like the scarlet letter.   I m looking for absolution in the night sky, I am finding frailty in the strength if my hope because I am harboring scars that entrap me in fear. 

So much of me is yearning for the love that I have for her, for our  marriage, for our family.  So much of me is running away blind.  I can not go back to someone who has wished me dead, asked me to kill myself so that they do not have to see me. The same person that moments later is crawling over me, tempting me with false looks of love, caressing my sides, my heart with the promise of completion.

Some days I am strong, some days I am beaten.  Crying…I am never defeated, I have learned that through faith I am able to push on. 

I am battled, scared and tired…

I am never out of Love…
JDJ

Faith

So is it ok that I let things come between us, no.  Is it ok she let things come between us, no.    We were victims to fear, to doubt, to temptations of the world.   Those things are no longer what holds us back, now we are held back by pride.

I have prayed, I have let go and my pride will no longer take rule in my life. In the life we share together, which stands at this point as parents looking out for the best of our babies.

Now we fight for eachother, at least this is the stand I am taking.  Because, we do not have to be married to have a solid foundation of trust, respect, honor, commitment or faith.  We do not have to be intimate to pass these moral compasses on to our babies, or to those who have or will find their way into parts of our lives.

So from here on out, I am praying for you, for us….