Dads matter

As time passes after my divorce I find myself more and more financially hurt.  I keep trying to figure why and then I sit down and write it all out. 

I am not a dead beat Dad, I show up to everything, whether it is my scheduled time or not.  I pay my child support, I pay activity fees and help with groceries and about 70% of my income goes to help mom pay for things with our babies.  That does not nor will it ever bother me, I Love my broken family (because divorce breaks a little of all us inside).  I want the best for my kids, even my ex-wife. 

What kills me is she wants more, she chooses to not work in the summer time.  She chooses to not sit down and budget with me for upcoming activities and expenses.  I just get a bill that keeps going and less and less information of where and when things are happening. 

Less and less.

I thought our job as parents (together or apart) was to do the best for our kids, for each other.  Imagine what we could do working together, just communicating.  The view changes with a simple conversation. 

This is scattered I know, just random free falling thoughts of a Dad….looking for ways to ask a Mom….to be better than our past by working together.

We all have bad moments in our life, but if you choose to remain in the position; you will never grow.  If you never grow, they never grow. 

Sigh, it just frazzles my mind on how to make things work, how to change things…how do we become better when we don’t exist.

Sincerely,

Dad moving forward

Thank you

So let’s get positive. 
I woke up this morning, drove to work and saw a red moon. I have healthy babies who think the world of me.

Somewhere, I gained the respect of my peers and it has stayed with me, I have loved.  Wether lost or still with me, I have loved unfiltered.  I have been loved. 

I am not ashamed to say I have made mistakes and fallen down, I have cried, I have been angry. 

I have my faith which holds me up, I find my understanding, my patience within prayer and reflection.  I have crossed from worrying about the now, to investing in the forever. 

I smile more than frown, and it’s because you have taken time in this chaotic world to read my heart.  You paused long enough to listen, some of you have returned.  You inspire me, you surprise me with your view, your heart is astounding. When I visit your pages.  I am humbled and pushed to be better..

So on this blessed Sunday I want to say thank you for taking time to remember, read, and care.  For being compassionate….being human….thank you.   

Please feel free to comment, criticize, on any posts or drop an email at ljinfintely@gmail.com

Believe that real inspiration lies within you ©JDJ

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